There is no more important time to know (or discover) what you really believe about life and death than when you’re struggling to come through the grief of losing someone important to you. The emotional loss is heartbreaking, and that is the part they refer to when they say that time heals all wounds. And they’re right - it really does.
But your beliefs about life and death can either liberate you from grief or keep you stuck there. And when you don’t know what you believe, that is when a writing program can be invaluable.
Most of us were brought up with a religious view of what happens after death. But as I learned, and as many of the participants in my programs have discovered, the beliefs we happened to be exposed to don’t necessarily hold up in the face of a terrible loss. It’s different for everyone, but that is really my point. Beliefs are as individual as our DNA, and they become more clear by searching ourselves and our experiences in the aftermath of a great loss.
One of the things I discovered in my journey was the fact that death was constantly there, trying to get me to pay attention. I had so many unexplainable experiences - from extraordinary dreams to whiffs of my mother’s perfume to asking for her help and instantly getting it - that I had to start writing about them. I had to put these things on paper, where I could try to understand what was going on.
I was always awestruck by these experiences, and then I always talked myself out of the fact that they had happened. They made me feel crazy, but they kept happening. And one day I finally realized that I was having encounters with the invisible realm of the ongoing spirit of life after death. And I decided that I was no longer going to deny that my mother seemed to be communicating with me.
What really changed things for me was thinking about the fact that if I were the one who had died, and I was trying to let my loved ones know I was ok, and they kept dismissing these moments as just figments of their imagination, I’d go crazy. And I didn’t want to do that to my mom. So I started to accept these communications for what they seemed to be. And my grief began to lighten.
Don’t get me wrong, here. I think death is a mystery, and it may always be one. I’ve been a student of after death experiences for decades, and for all the evidence of the continuation of consciousness after the body dies, I still don’t pretend to understand it all. But I do hold a much larger space in my spirit for the idea that death does not end things. It changes them, yes. But there is simply no way for me to add up all that I have read and experienced to equate death with the end.
I have no interest in influencing anyone’s beliefs. I think they are sacred and personal. But I do encourage you to discover more about your own beliefs, if you find you are struggling to move forward after the death of a loved one. Get yourself a journal and step onto the path of your own exploration. If you need some guidance on that journey, download my writing program or sign up for the online version. I believe you’ll discover that the power of writing about your own unique experience will lead you to the peace you’re seeking.
© 2015 Kathy Curtis, All Rights Reserved